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Sunday, 30 January 2011

Babybat on holiday!

I'm posting this a little tentatively, as I'm not sure how interesting True Life of an English Babybat will be for my readers.

Those of you who came across from the old site may have read my Diary of Doom from my 2008 summer holiday? Well, here are the illustrated highlights, straight from the pages of my personal journal... but mostly, this is an excuse to post my old holiday snaps. Don't say you weren't warned.

Saturday 5th July, 2008
This cannot be happening to me. I'm going on holiday the day after tomorrow - and I've just realised I'm almost out of black eyeshadow. Thankfully, I packed most of my holiday wardrobe, including swimming costume and pajamas (and two bottles of SPF 50 suncream - of course!), last week, on the premise that if it's safely in my bag I can't lose it or get it dirty. I've decided against bringing my parasol - it's going to hard enough fitting everyone's bags in the boot with Nan's mobility scooter already.

Sunday 6th July
At half past eleven last night I was playing with the dog (a golden cocker spaniel called Spice) when Mum offered me a small but oh-so-beautiful item.

"From Tesco's?" I gasped, clutching it. "I didn't think Tesco's did the essentials. I thought they only sold frivolous stuff - like food."

Mum has saved the day with a black eyeshadow compact. Thank heaven.

Today I'm painfully excited, like a kid at Christmas, but there are a few hazards that Dan (my boyfriend) and I are going to have to watch out for on this holiday. I'll give you a list (I like lists):

1) Grandfer must not spot my tongue stud or all hell will break loose (which might be fun but I will probably regret it when I urgently need a fiver).
2) Dan and I must not join in with the grandparents' planned activities (Day One - A Nice Cup of Tea). Dan and I are both SERIOUS shopaholics - places to be, things to buy... the tea can wait.
3) Must not get caught by the grandparents sneaking in and out of each other's rooms.
4) Must keep Grandfer away from all unusal-looking people. He can be VERY rude. 

Monday 7th July
Have had a great day. After arriving at the hotel (and swapping rooms behind the grandparents' backs so that Dan and I are sharing a double and Mum is in the single) Dan and I took a wander into town. It was great!Basically, to sum up - BRILLIANT shopping trip, and I am sharing a hotel room with the most gorgeous guy in the world (who's been a real gentleman tonight - pouring my drinks for me and everything!).
Me and Dan; on the steps of our hotel in Torquay
In our hotel room... hmm, those are not the most flattering jeans. My butt does not sag, people, honest.
Oh, and the hotel manageress is not exactly what you could call Goth-friendly. When we got back from town, she stopped us at the door. Admittedly, everyone else here is either old or chavvy (in the hotel, that is, there were loads of alternatives and Goths down town), but still...   

She said, "Can I help you?" in the tone of voice that unmistakeably says, "Where the hell do you think you're going?" Dan just looked her straight in the eye and was like, "Well actually, we're going to our rooms..."

She deigned to let us in, but then actually followed us to see where we went! How rude! Ten out of ten to Dan, though. He was also great when a couple of chavs were staring at me in the lounge - he gave them right evils! Go Dan!
Tuesday 8th July
Alternatives, 2. Manageress, 0. We were walking out of the hotel with Mum when she gave Dan an evil look (the manageress, not Mum) so he pulled a face at her (literally) and we waltzed out (not literally). That woman is SO not getting a tip.

Today, we got a bus to a nearby village called Cockington. It's a really picturesque, old-fashioned little village, and hasn't changed a bit since I was here five years ago. We looked around some gift shops and the manor house, and took a ride in a horse-drawn carriage. Thankfully, the weather stayed pretty good and even brightened up a bit. (Typical English weather...)

Yup, we're in jolly old England all right...
Just had a chat with some random dude (who to start with I thought worked in the hotel) who said, "You're better dressed than everyone here - the only Goth in the place!" Well, I don't like to brag, but... ;-)

After dinner - five courses, I'm going to be HUGE by the time we get home - we went for a walk along the cliffs ('we' being me, Dan and Mum), then played a round of Crazy Golf. Dan won, Mum came second, and I absolutely sucked! Apparently I have a very violent golf swing!
Aaaand... there goes my Goth cred.
When we were on the cliffs, some chavs were staring at us. Mum said that they must have been surprised to see Gothy-type people smiling and having a laugh (since we're all supposed to be depressed and suicidal). They didn't shout any insults at us or anything, just stood there and watched us messing around. I'm glad we provide such good entertainment...
My favourite dress =)
It was a Christmas present, and it's from Drac In A Box
My homies
Wednesday 9th July
Dripping wet day today - the weather's bloody awful!

After lunch at the chippie, we caught a bus to a nearby town called Paignton and had a megashop in the pouring rain. Dan and I cooed over snakes, tarantulas and, er, fluffy bunnies in a pet shop, and I bought a pair of platform shoes and various other awesome bits and bobs.

At dinner I wore a blonde wig that I bought in Paignton - and it must have been pretty convincing as I was chatting to Grandfer in the corridor (with Dan hiding in our room) for a good few minutes before he recognised me!

I wish the weather was a bit better - I really want to wear my gorgeous swimming costume on the beach. It's a black fishnet halterneck tankini (with a lining on the inside, obviously!).
Crazy Golf, pool, line dancing... is there no end to my many fails?
Thursday 10th July
Today we visited Kent's Cavern, and it was AWESOME. Just before our tour guide led us into the caves, Dan and I overheard this woman talking to her little boy - "So what do you think is in the cave?" "DRAGONS!" "What else?" "GIANTS!" "What else?" "BEARS!" "What else?" "BANANAS!" I have to say, on behalf of the staff of Kent's Cavern, that there is not a single banana in the caves. (Well, if there was, I didn't see it.)

The tour guide led us around, sixty feet under the ground. It was chilly and damp and dark, but somehow strangely pleasant. I would quite happily live down there! The tour guide showed us a natural rock formation that cavemen used to worship, called the Face in the Stone. It looked a lot like Mick Jagger.
Kent's Cavern apparently decorate for Halloween all year round, just like me!
Screaming weirdo not included.
After dinner, Mum, Dan and I went down to the beach. Dan was yelling about how cold the water was, but I didn't think it was that bad. I went in up to my thighs and ended up completely soaking my skirt!
Later we had a game of pool in the bar, and then the bloke who'd been saying nice stuff all week ('best dressed', etc) came over, absolutely sloshed out of his wits, and started coming on to Mum, using a sausage-shaped balloon as a prop. Heading back to our rooms, we headed past a group of our fellow guests, who were also seriously drunk, and one shouted out, "Got your whips and chains ready, then?" I wasn't really sure how to answer that...

Friday 11th July
Dan and I got caught up in the rain this morning during a serious brain fart... we forgot we needed to get the bags into the car and set off for Babbacombe. We'd got about a mile when we we realised we had to get back in a hurry...
After loading the car we spent a couple of hours at Babbacombe Model Village (and had quite a giggle at the nudist beach - aren't we mature?!). We noticed that most of the little model people were leaning sideways, though... what's up with that? Loads of people stared at us, and one older dude looked at us and then went, "Oh my God," but hey, we're used to it...

I can't usually sleep in a car, but I just couldn't keep my eyes open on the way back. I ended up snoozing on Dan's shoulder, and apparently drooling... Dan says that every time we went round a sharp corner, my head got flung around and I nearly knocked Nan out a couple of times...

Well, I've had a damn good week and I hope everyone else did too... looking forward to maybe taking another trip next year!

11 comments:

Angel of Darkness said...

I did read this on your old Pizco site! And for the racord your really pretty!

MisVermilion said...

Look like you have a great time!!! How rude that hotel guy pfffff,I hate that kind of things!

ultimategothguide said...

@ Angel - thank you =D

@ MisVermilion - tell me about it :-/

Anonymous said...

Amy you are very pretty and my brother wants to know. What kind of goth you are please responde ~Callasandra~

ultimategothguide said...

@ Callasandra - thanks hun ^^ attitude-wise I'm 100% perkygoth, fashion-wise I like too many different styles to choose just one! Pick'n'mix Goth!

Riskia said...

I absolutely fell in love with your boots in the very first picture! Could you possibly give me their name and brand? Thank you so much in advance! :)

ultimategothguide said...

@ Riskia - sadly not, because I found them in a skip. I can tell you that they are New Rocks and I put rainbow laces in them, but that's about it... :-( sorry!

Riskia said...

Oh no problem! I am so greatful that you at least answered! :)

I am from Canada, where Goth is not very complimented... There are hardly any stores! :( I know of 3 within a 200 mile range! So I am amazed at all the merchandise you have! (Although I DO have a rib cage sweater like Dan!)

How about the boots you are wearing in the caveman picture? The one where Dan is putting his face atop a caveman body and you are laying beside... Are they the same ones? O.o

ultimategothguide said...

@ Riskia - those I can help with, they're from Underground =)

http://www.underground-england.co.uk/

Riskia said...

Oh thank you sooo much!! I have some Demonias myself but I wanted to try a new brand... Foreign is even better! And I believe I might have found your boots from the first picture... Have a look!

http://www.newrockshoes.net/products/New-Rock-373-S4.html

Many thanks again! I am so grateful! :)

Anonymous said...

That dress is soooo cool...

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