Saturday, 15 January 2011

When kids attack...

I really love logging in every day and reading all your comments - you guys are so awesome! I'm getting about 250 hits on average every day now (up from 40 a day in November when I started blogging here), which means I'm getting a very big head... also, 47 followers! OK, OK, so Adora BatBrat has like a thousand, but considering I'm just a random teenage Goth girl from Suburbia I think that's kind of impressive. =)

Although, I do have to check up on some people from the old Piczo site who have noticeably not commented on this new blog - where are you guys? Are you still here? I'm talking to Laurel from The Butterfly In The Belljar (another Australian Goth, and yes, two Laurels, it's a little confusing what with two Amys as well...); ZombeeGrrl, whom last I heard was engaged; Claire aka Miss Murder aka Ivory, my first friend on Piczo; and Chloe from Scotland, who still e-mails every now and again.

You have been warned, everyone, if you comment and chat to me a lot I will get worried if you suddenly vanish into the ether of cyberspace and I WILL check up on you. Drop me a comment, please, chaps, if you're still reading. =)

Now, here's one of my patented Angry Goth Rants. I don't really have much to add to this one, other than to invite discussion on why people feel it is appropriate to teach their children intolerance and bigotry.

This is a rant in particular about the behaviour of small children and the inbuilt mentality of society. Let me give you a few examples.

The first negative comment I ever got about the way I dressed was from a kid who couldn't have been more than ten years old. Seriously, when I was ten years old, I didn't even know what swear words were, never mind how to use them. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned...?

I was walking back from town with a couple of female friends (one Goth, one non-Goth), when a group of boys aged about seven or eight - there were about ten of them - started throwing stones at us, calling my Goth friend and I "Fucking emos." And I'm not talking chips of gravel here. I'm talking great big lumps of brick. We could have really been hurt.

When I went to a local park with one of my non-Goth friends, I was sworn at and shouted at ("Fucking emo, Goth bitch", etc) by a group of seven-to-ten-year-olds, and eventually we had to leave because it was just getting too annoying. 

Why is this so-called 'modern' society still being governed by neanderthal values - y'know, the good old 'if it's different, it must be dangerous and therefore we should make it either change or go away'. Why are kids brought up thinking, "If someone isn't like me, it's OK to swear at them/throw stones at them/beat them up"?

When I was a kid, my friends and I were taught that you shouldn't be rude to people just because they're different - for any reason, whether they're black, white, old, young, disabled, or whether they just happen to be wearing black - because they still have feelings, which can be hurt. Are kids not taught this any more - or have we created a society in which they just don't care because the only things that matter are I, Me and Mine?

Oh, and if it comes to that, why is it now OK for so-called adults to verbally abuse and even occasionally physically attack children and teenagers - just for being Goth? Like the twelve-year-old who had stones thrown at her by an adult Baptist church congregation because she was wearing black and carrying a Stephen King book. Tell me that isn't sick.

And what about comments like the one my mother overheard about me when we checked into a hotel on holiday last year? A man was saying to a younger boy who was with him, "Look at that girl, she's got a ring in her nose. She must have come from a pig farm." If adults are saying this kind of thing to children, then that's the kind of close-minded, bigoted mentality that these children are going to grow up with.

I dread to think what life is going to be like for us alternatives in ten years time.

Source: Photobucket
Listening to: Desire - Gene Loves Jezebel


Sheridan L. said...

I know exactly what you mean! I & my blue haired best friend got the same problems. Even when i'm just dressed basic (see a zebra pants) i'm getting already many shouts to my head. It's like the younger generations have learned how to be rude & the older generations have seen that beeing different is great (my best explanation was when i was dressed in platform boots with fishnet stockings, more destryed stockings & a latex corset, two old woman said to each other they found me such a beautifull girl).

Society is pretty fucked up & weird. And i'm getting a heavy heart when I think for the future ... what with next generation?

MissGracie said...

Kids are definitely brought up using vulgar language and being more rude in general. I hope I can manage to instill some better values in my own children when I have them. I think it's sad that kids are being raised to be like that.

On the flip side of this issue, when little kids compliment you because you are different and catch their attention it is like the BEST thing ever. I still remember one time I was shopping with my mom and these two adorable sisters kept staring and staring at me until they finally turned to their mom and said "Mom, she is really pretty, look at her clothes." My heart melted a little.

I think the only insults from children I have received have been from my younger siblings friends. They always thought I was weird and told me so, lol. But that was because they knew me, I can't imagine being yelled at by children I didn't even know...

Laurel said...

Is it just me, or does it seem like people in general are getting downright nasty?

Stephanie said...

I know what you mean! It's really hard now days for anyone who is "different". I'm just hopefull that all of the goth moms and dads [and the other groups] will teach thier kids to respect everyone. We are acting like a bunch of tribes instead of one species.

Emily Lynn G. said...

I've actually had a opposite experience. See, I notice in most high schools and stuff the "emo" kids are really hot shit. No, really. They have the most friends, are soooo original, etc. I disagree, I think that being "different" isn't just accepted, it's a requirement to FEEL accepted, and it's becoming it's own level of conformity. I just had a argument with a girl at school claiming that emo was MUCH "cooler" then goth AND a better subculture. (sense when is emo a subculture?? it's a genre of music, Scene is the real name for the subculture,No?)
Goths are in trouble because we aren't the subculture that everybody is embracing, "emos" are more popular and loved then cheerleaders in my school. I've had the trouble of being to weird for normal but not having the 2011 neon bimbo appeal of Blood On The Dance Floor's #1 fan girls (ugh.) Know what I mean?

And where were those kid's parents? I'd find them and give them a piece of my mind, and I'm much younger then you,Miss Amy.(I'm not sure what to call you ^_^)Your a older teen, they are little snot-nosed brats, i believe some black-combat-boot-up-the-rear-end is in order.

Laurel (as in the Belljar Laurel!) said...

A hoy hoy,

I know that this is a bit late, but yes, I still read. Although (as I think I announced on my old blog) my interest in the Goth subculture is pretty much ended- I still love this blog <3

I am thinking about setting up a blogger actually, but I don't really trust myself. I came across my old one from 04-06 and eeech- self-pity much? That said, I think I am a bit older and more ... mature now.

Have you heard anything from Claire at all? She disappeared and I got a bit worried for a bit. Just- no warning, everything gone. I tried emailing her on another site I was pretty sure was her, but nothing. I just hope she is alright no matter where is or what she is doing.

So yes, brief life update- I have decided to leave the job "a thousand people would kill for" (as it was described to me at a party, by a man who I am sure stole that from "The Devil Wears Prada") and study next year- Criminology/something. I missed study. I lost my personal style last year (even my younger sister noticed, ouch), but I am hoping to spend this year back to my lace gloved best. This year has the potential to be quite exciting for me.

Would you rather I pop in for random anon comments here or email? I am alright either way, but sometimes I get into one of my moods and you might not hear from me for ... well ... months so either way is not entirely surefire.

Jam tarts and lace hearts,

ultimategothguide said...

@ Belljar Laurel - yeah, I'm still in contact with Claire on =)

I don't check my e-mail often but you're welcome to e-mail OR comment any time.

I'm glad that you still read even if Goth isn't your thing any more; I need to run over to your old blog and catch myself up a bit! Lace gloves yet not Goth? Tell me more, I'm intrigued!

Better late than never - great to hear from you. Best of luck with Criminology.

ultimategothguide said...

@ Laurel - that is, if we're talking about Gothic Asylum Claire as opposed to Miss Murder Claire.

KatSlaughter said...

Hi there

I must say I do enjoy your blog very much, despite never commenting through ... sheer laziness, I suppose? Perhaps I am just one of those exploitative readers who enjoy reading without giving anything back. But hearing how much you enjoy comments (as of course you would), I will try express appreciation when I feel it is more necessary than usual.

So yes, I'd just like to say how much I like your blog, and how impressed I am that you update so regularly. I rarely follow blogs for the simple reason that people barely update -- but you, you can have two posts in a day. Lovely. To me the posts are relevant and entertaining, with a dash of humour, generally self-referential (which is fun and interesting) but also in places more historical/factual, as with the 'types of goth' series of articles.

Your interest and knowledge in the goth [sub]culture is commendable.. I'm more of the 'lazy goth' -- I like the music, of course, I own but one red shirt (which I sleep in) and otherwise my clothing drawer makes everyone who sees it laugh at its monochromatic nature. Otherwise my style is very laid-back; consisting of comfortable fitted pants with looser but still somewhat fitted shirts, or dresses in summer, studded wristband/gloves .. pretty plain. The most 'gothy' items would probably be the occasional armwarmers and lace-trimmed everything. If I wore colour I'd probably look pretty 'normal.' But that is kind of emblematic of my approach to Goth in general.

Anyway, keep it up and I'll be sure to drop in with the occasional comment. Stay well.

Angel of Darkness said...

I find that little kids either are scared of me or interested.
And I think too that emo is being way too obssesed over, it's like the "thing" to be emo. Ugg!

ultimategothguide said...

@ KatSlaughter - Thank you so much, you just made my morning! I'm glad you don't think I talk too much... =D I look forward to your future comments.

@ Angel of Darkness - it's cooler to be 'scene' where I live, which I guess is the next best thing...

Laurel said...


I'll probably comment for now. But don't be surprised if an email pops up every now and then.

Well, as I said before you write wonderfully. Plus I still have a healthy respect for Goths in general- I am definitely not going to bash you guys in public :) Or private.

Lace gloves in regard to I've sort of left for the pastel and dreamy side of the world. Big turnaround I know- but I fell in love with the whole Unicorn Diaries (before it was taken down) Lost Princess sort of style and have been trying a bit of that. Actually working taught me a bit lesson- you have as many brand dresses from Japan as you like, but if those are the only things keeping you alive, maybe the job isn't for you. So at this point I would say I am a Mary Magdalene heavy classic lolita. There is one post that sums this up beautifully:

Is Claire alright? Did you ever find out why she took down the Gothic Asylum? Does she have a copy of her artice on Neo-Victorian fashion anywhere? I read yours (which I have saved too), but I would love her's as well. Please let her know I miss her!

I actaully tend to think of Emo as a subculture as well as a type of music. Sort of how Gothic is a subculture and a type of architecture. But I am by no means an expert so if it can be backed up that the term exclusively applies to the music than please enlighten me :)

Actually Amy, that gives me a thought for a new section- subculture spotting. Sort of like what you did with Industrial, but for all the things (umm ... I mean creative and unique individuals) that we are likely to see wanderig around. I totally say that as a creative and unique individual :P

Jam tarts and lace hearts,

ultimategothguide said...

@ Laurel - she wasn't entirely sure herself why she took it down. I will ask her, but as it sort of vanished very suddenly I'm not sure it's likely.

I would agree with emo being a subculture rather than just a type of music; however it's a bit of a mishmash of different influences and doesn't really have a club or festival scene, so despite it's popularity it's not a very big or active subculture as far as I can tell.

It's funny you should say that - I've covered Lolita, Industrial, Vampyre and (briefly) Faerie and am intending to move on to Steampunk, Visual Kei, Punk, Metal, New Romantic etc, so it's definitely something in the pipeline.

Laurel said...


Yeah, I definitely see your point. Oh well, she is alive amd that is the main thing :)

I am going to just come out and say it. I like Emo. But I like 2006 Emo. I don't like this new Scene thing. I mean the fashion wasn't something I would wear personally, but I still like it better than the things I see in most magazines. Maybe because it is familiar?

I look forward to the new posts :) I should add I have some truely dreadful mallgoth photos, but I am way too embarassed to put them online. Once they are there they are stuck there! You are pretty brave to post yours :)

ultimategothguide said...

@ Laurel - Claire asks if there is any way you can keep in touch. If you're on, her username is clairebear1234.

Ditto your comment on emo. Scene does nothing for me, and I get a bit elitist and snitty when people confuse emo and Goth, but I have a certain fondness for it.

Haha thanks ^^

Laurel said...


I was thinking about making a blog- is there any chance she might join the bloggerverse again?

Oh yes, definitely not the same. But stripes, sidefringes and those tutu things (although I think scene stole those!) are all things I will remember fondly. I know those things are not exclusive to emo, but I still think of those things mostly when I think of emo.

Anonymous said...

Good grief, that's horrible! I'm sure the parents of these kids are no better. I notice that general goth discrimination seems to be worse in the U.K. than it does in the U.S. I wonder why that is? I can't speak for American schools because I was fortunate enough to be homeschooled, but I rarely ever get that kind of abuse just out on the street, even at my most flamboyant. I get a few odd looks, but I mostly get compliments on my bravery and/or style. Maybe it's because I live in South Texas and the general atmosphere down here is friendlier? That's terrible that U.K. goths can't go outside without worrying about people (kids nonetheless!) throwing frickin' ROCKS at them. What's your opinion on this?

ultimategothguide said...

@ Anonymous - it's probably fair to say that I live in Chavsville, and it's a small town too, and we all know about the stigma attached to small towns. In the bigger UK cities there may be a greater percentage of idiots, but there are also more alternatives and Goths, so there is more acceptance when it's more widely spread. For example, I've never received any kind of abuse when visiting cities like London, Bristol or York.

But I think a lot, if not all, of it stems from the parents - I hate to generalise, but a lot of parents in the UK are more interested in smoking cannabis and claiming benefits than in the welfare and education of their children. Why should they teach their children tolerance when they themselves are just as likely to throw a beer can at a passing Goth?

Having said that, I have heard about some terrible incidents happening in America, although I won't state them here as I heard about them on old Gothic Liberation Front YouTube videos and as such cannot verify how true they might be.

Brandi Davis said...

In my old town, which I spent the whole of my fourteen years in, I was lucky enough not to get too many problems when I "went Goth".

However, since my family and I have moved to a much bigger town, I'm probably going to be having to put up with a lot of it. No matter. We'll survive.

residentreject6 said...

I was beaten by my boyfriend in the middle of the hall and NO ONE did anything to help me. When me and my friend showed the principal texts that had my boyfriend confessing that he hit me, showed him my bruises, and crooked nose from his hits, my principal said, "Well, seeing the situation, and seeing you two, it seems highly unlikely that this is true." So basically because I'm goth and the guy wasn't, I got hit many more times after that before someone finally stopped him, and helped me.

Anonymous said...

About the little kids and adults, I get what you mean... Once a gothy friend and I were walking home from thrift shopping. We walked past a car shop, and all the guys who were suppose to be working started screaming and yelling at and making monster/animal sounds at us, screaming things like "FREAKS! GO KILL YOURSELVES! IT ISN'T HALLOWEEN YET!" ..... yeah. Really mature, found out when we went inside to complain that the manager was one of the guys who was yelling at us.

But as for kids, I remember when I had my hair all dyed neon pink, I was walking home from my bus stop. I passed by an elementary school and a little girl with her mom looked up at me and smiled, tugging on her mom's shirt and saying excitedly, "Mommy! Mommy! Her hair's puh-pul!" It was so. freaking. CUTE!!! Complements from little kids and older girls ("elderly" just sounds rude) are the best <3

Kristin said...

I just startet to read this blog a few days ago, and I love it. So I thought I should tell you how great a wrighter you are.

Regarding the cids thing. Once I was out shopping, a mother said to her child (didn't tur to see if it was a girl or a boy) "Have you ever seen one of those?" Like if goth was another species than standariced people. That makes me wonder what people thought when a bunch of gothic folks and I went to a movie premiere lasst month. ( We were after all about 30-40 goths wandering around in the streets )

Kitty Lovett; The Unadulterated Cat said...

My biggest admirers are the wee ones - maybe it's my oft-stern dress sense that keeps the rude ones shut up.

I have actually taken a child to his mother, told her that her child was being violent, and stressed that I wasn't judging her by her child's behvaiour. She apologised profusely - you would be VERY surprised how sorry she was. A lot of people are more reasonable than you'd think.

Even the THREAT of mummy is usually enough to shut them up. How damn hard is it to tell your child not to be an asshole? WHY AM I NOT ALLOWED TO PUNISH OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN (and teenagers for that matter)?

bunika13 said...

Hey! First of all, I love your blog! When I'm finished reading your new posts, I always go through the old ones, just to see if I missed any! Anyways, about this post, I have never got rocks thrown at me, but I have been cyberbullied on MSN in high school, by this girl that went to my school, she called me 'emo' and that she hates 'us', and in school she would scream 'I hate her!' in the hallway and point at me. Yeah... it was pretty bad. I barely even knew her. I work in the archives in an elementary school, and just yesterday I was going home from work, and in the hallway there was this group of eighth graders, they were staring at me, and one of them said, 'She has a bat print on her bag!', and the rest of them were snickering. I mean, really? I was right there, and they didn't even care if I heard them or anything. I feel that kids are getting more and more rude these days, what are parents teaching their kids at home? When I was a kid, I would never even think of commenting and saying rude stuff to othes!
Oh, and I agree with Kitty Lovett, why can't I punish other people's children? Seriously! LOL I don't think their parents are doing a good job!

Kitty Lovett; The Unadulterated Cat said...

Bunika, frankly, I just think I should be allowed to smack a twelve-year-old for calling their teacher a "fucking dogfaced slut" and threatening to, erm, "boot her in the cunt". I don't know who that would have been more uncomfortable for, but since I overheard it, it was uncomfortable for my to visualise.

It's just awful what happened to you. And a girl bullied you on MSN? By the time that happened I was very internet savvy, so I just told them "lol QQ" because their bully skills were terribad. I mean really, MSN? OH SO SCARY AND THREATENING. As for pointing you out in the corridor and shouting all about it, I think she's just a mental case. How was it that YOU were totally weird and crazy but randomly shouting "i hate that one girl over there that i haven't ever really met and nor have you" is totally normal?

I'm telling you, I should be allowed to punish people for sheer cuntbaggery.
/end long comment of agreeance

bunika13 said...

I know, MSN is not scary at all, but it was kind of shocking, because I never knew that this girl hated me so much, and she was also friends with one of my good friends (who turns out wasn't a friend at all), the girl would point at me in the hallway, and my 'friend' didn't do anything, and eventually walked off with that crazy bitch, and left me there by myself! Anyways, it's a good thing all that started to happen close to the end of grade 12, so I got out of there and never saw any of those people again.

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