"What are we going to do tonight, Brain?"
No, I have not yet succeeded in taking over the world with an army of bat-tattooed clones (yet). But I did find these Dracula Lollies in Iceland last summer. Yes, I have kept the box. How could I not, when the packaging reads 'Suitable for vegetarians and vampires'? I know, I know... little things amuse little minds. But nevertheless, this made my day. Dan (who bought these for me) and Adam spent a lot of time shaking their heads and rolling their eyes (affectionately, I hope) at my vaguely manic glee. Yes, my tongue is green (sour sweets).
|Suitable for vegetarians and vampires!|
Headlines included: Goth Gone Wrong - Freaky Celeb Looks and Is Your Crush A Secret Vampire? (am I disappointed to learn that Dan is not actually a secret vampire? Well, yes, maybe a little...), and inside I discovered recommendations for Stargazer's Gothica range (which, I have noticed, was stocked for a while in uber-trendy mainstream store New Look, although it seems to have vanished again) and a caption which read, 'No fake tan needed for this look!'
I wasn't sure whether to clap my pasty little hands with glee or roll my eyes so hard I risked getting them stuck in the back of my head.
As if the combination of Hot Vampires, Dracula Lollies and New Look stocking Stargazer products was not enough, I also dicovered... this, from Mattel Inc (the creators of that Patron Saint of all that is pink and ungodly, Barbie herself). C'mon, guys, not only are you trying to do the creators of BEGoths out of a living, but... uh... oh my gosh (or should that be 'oh my Goth'?) Draculaura is about THE MOST ADORABLE thing everrr... I want her. I want her to sit on my shelf next to my BEGoths. Is that so wrong?
I really, really want to be on the Fearleading Squad. Yes, I am ashamed of myself. Yes, it's cheesy, yes it's Disneyfied, but really... what's not to love here?
Actually, I have now gone to Argos to buy Draculaura three times and found that Monster High is out of stock EVERY time. What is wrong with the world? However, I did manage to treat myself to a copy of 'Vampires 2011' in Waterstones - a desk calendar with a fact a day about vampire legends, lore, movies, literature, oh, and how to tell if you are a vampire yourself - y'know, just in case you hadn't noticed.
So to sum this up - Goth has invaded. I know that I probably have Twilight to thank for this (and the thrill of the sparkly vampire romance has now gotten slightly old, even for me... I didn't even go to see Eclipse. Even the Peter Murphy cameo could not lure me. Well, actually it could, but my date was grounded, which totally ballsed THAT one up at the last minute... I really wish I had gone to see it, dammit.) which does not exactly fill me with squee-ings and glee, but I am quite enjoying Goth being (temporarily) in the limelight.
As long as it's only temporary. After all, isn't the whole point of an underground subculture that it's, hello, underground? If this hasn't abated in six months time I will be screaming (in conjunction with every other Goth on this god-forsaken planet) "Get that damn spotlight off me and stop asking me where I got my clothes!!!"
By the way, the Drac Lollies are delicious. I ate four.
Listening to: Whispers - Sensuous Enemy