Wednesday, 12 January 2011

World Domination!

"What are we going to do tonight, Brain?"

No, I have not yet succeeded in taking over the world with an army of bat-tattooed clones (yet). But I did find these Dracula Lollies in Iceland last summer. Yes, I have kept the box. How could I not, when the packaging reads 'Suitable for vegetarians and vampires'? I know, I know... little things amuse little minds. But nevertheless, this made my day. Dan (who bought these for me) and Adam spent a lot of time shaking their heads and rolling their eyes (affectionately, I hope) at my vaguely manic glee. Yes, my tongue is green (sour sweets).

Suitable for vegetarians and vampires!
The following weekend (or thereabouts), the Mumster handed me a copy of Shout magazine (y'know, one of those alarmingly twee Miley Cyrus/Kristen Stewart-worshipping mags for teenage sheep - ahem, girls). I stared at her like she'd gone bonkers, and she just grinned sort-of enigmatically at me and indicated that I turn over the mag. Free with Shout magazine was my very own personal copy of... Hot Vampires.

Headlines included: Goth Gone Wrong - Freaky Celeb Looks and Is Your Crush A Secret Vampire? (am I disappointed to learn that Dan is not actually a secret vampire? Well, yes, maybe a little...), and inside I discovered recommendations for Stargazer's Gothica range (which, I have noticed, was stocked for a while in uber-trendy mainstream store New Look, although it seems to have vanished again) and a caption which read, 'No fake tan needed for this look!'

I wasn't sure whether to clap my pasty little hands with glee or roll my eyes so hard I risked getting them stuck in the back of my head.

As if the combination of Hot Vampires, Dracula Lollies and New Look stocking Stargazer products was not enough, I also dicovered... this, from Mattel Inc (the creators of that Patron Saint of all that is pink and ungodly, Barbie herself). C'mon, guys, not only are you trying to do the creators of BEGoths out of a living, but... uh... oh my gosh (or should that be 'oh my Goth'?) Draculaura is about THE MOST ADORABLE thing everrr... I want her. I want her to sit on my shelf next to my BEGoths. Is that so wrong?

I really, really want to be on the Fearleading Squad. Yes, I am ashamed of myself. Yes, it's cheesy, yes it's Disneyfied, but really... what's not to love here?
Actually, I have now gone to Argos to buy Draculaura three times and found that Monster High is out of stock EVERY time. What is wrong with the world? However, I did manage to treat myself to a copy of 'Vampires 2011' in Waterstones - a desk calendar with a fact a day about vampire legends, lore, movies, literature, oh, and how to tell if you are a vampire yourself - y'know, just in case you hadn't noticed.

So to sum this up - Goth has invaded. I know that I probably have Twilight to thank for this (and the thrill of the sparkly vampire romance has now gotten slightly old, even for me... I didn't even go to see Eclipse. Even the Peter Murphy cameo could not lure me. Well, actually it could, but my date was grounded, which totally ballsed THAT one up at the last minute... I really wish I had gone to see it, dammit.) which does not exactly fill me with squee-ings and glee, but I am quite enjoying Goth being (temporarily) in the limelight.

As long as it's only temporary. After all, isn't the whole point of an underground subculture that it's, hello, underground? If this hasn't abated in six months time I will be screaming (in conjunction with every other Goth on this god-forsaken planet) "Get that damn spotlight off me and stop asking me where I got my clothes!!!"

By the way, the Drac Lollies are delicious. I ate four.

Listening to: Whispers - Sensuous Enemy


The Green Fairy said...

Why are they called lollies when they look like ice creams? Weird..

I don't like Twlight and I hate what it's done to goth culture. I'm not going to say any more because I'll just get riled up about how I don't understand how a stupid, un-talented writer pushed the biggest Mary and Gary Stu's down the world's throat all in the name of preaching the Morman retarded religion and the world actually swallowed it.

Ergh...I think I'm gonna be sick.

Julietslace said...

I reckon the whole Shite sorry Twilight thing will die down, a few years ago it was all High School Musical and nobody ever talks about it now. :)

ultimategothguide said...

'Ice lollies' I believe is the technical term.

*passes bucket*

Angela said...

1st: That sounds like an AWESOME magazine. I haven't ever read a gothic mag except for the Gothic Lolita Bible. Ah, looove the library. ♥

ALSO, I have Draculaura! I got her for my 21st birthday. ^_^ She sits on my computer desk!

MissGracie said...

I think that if a show like that gets really popular, more kids would want to buy BEgoth dolls because of the similarities. Also, I would watch Monster High... :P Did you ever watch Growing Up Creepie? I thought it was adorable.

Emily Lynn G. said...

Yes, i was a fan of Monster High before it went on air, I think.(found it on Facebook I think) It's cheesy cute<3 AND THAT THEME SONG! So catchy!!

We gotta admit though, the popularity of subculture in the past two years has made it easier to shop and buy goth items for us younger gothies who can't order all over the nets. However,like everything else popular culture gets its claws on, the subcultures will be milked for all its moneys worth and then left back in the hands of the underground (where it deserves.)
In other words, its a phase.It'll go full circle like you said. They'll move to something else, who knows what? In the mean time, appreciate the fact that you can shop phhhhhffft ANYWHERE if you got a eye for detail ( even Claire's now!) :D I'm just riding the wave as it goes and ignoring the bad rip-offs or mast-produced bull when it gets out of hand.
BTW, new follower: You can call me Emily Lynn, young subculture enthusiast, nice to meet 'cha:D

ultimategothguide said...

@ Miss Gracie - we never had Creepie on TV in the UK but I recently discovered it on YouTube...


@ Emily Lynn - oh good, I'm not the only one weirdly attracted to that theme song... I feel better now.

I suppose it has made collecting Gothy goodies easier for the younger ones, in which case I can't really complain (well, I will, but quietly...).

Nice to meet you, too =D

ultimategothguide said...

Ohmygosh Emily thanks a million for leading me to Neil Gaiman's blog... but how did you follow it on Blogger? Help a crazed fangirl out here!

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