Advance warning: it's likely that there will be no post tomorrow, as my manager and assistant manager have taken a day off at the same time, leaving - guess who - to cover. I'm not sure who came to the decision that the teenage Gothling who wears bondage pants and black lipstick to work was the wisest choice for managerial training, but hey-ho... I am being bribed with mini Battenburgs and the promise of a £10 thank-you. I just hope I don't become too power-crazed and attempt to kickstart my rusty plans for world domination... but I just might.
Having a cool, 'spooky' nickname is not a prerequisite of being Goth. It’s just to enhance that oh-so-enigmatic image. I've considered adopting an alias several times ('Violetta X' being the current favourite) but I'm known both in the real world and online as 'Amy' and always have been, so it's possibly a little late now... I guess it could have been worse. I could have had a really embarrassing middle name... (it's Katrina, FYI). Or I could have been named Engelbert Humperdinck.
Anyhoo. If some of you out there are looking to choose your scene alias (or name your demon offspring), I thought I'd provide a handy A-Z of the prettiest, spookiest, most unusual (and silliest) Gothy names I could find, with their meanings and origins if relevant. Please enjoy at your leisure.
For girls: Adrienne ('dark lady from the sea'), Alvira ('elfin arrow'), Amaris, ('child of the moon'), Anastasia ('she who will rise again'), Artemia ('moon goddess'), Asphodel, Aisling ('dream'), Aerin, Autumn, Arachne.
For guys: Asmodeus, Astaroth (both, apparently, are the names of demons), Alaric, Aleron ('eagle'), Ascelin ('of the moon'), Astrophel ('star lover'), Athanasius ('immortal'), Aubrey ('elf ruler'), Auberon ('noble', pronounced like 'Oberon', Shakespeare's fairy king), Azriel.
For girls: Badriyah ('full moon'), Bernia ('angel in armour'), Bijou ('jewel'), Brienne ('strength, virtue, honour'), Branwen ('beautiful raven'), Briallen, Brigid, Belladonna.
For guys: Bjorn, Blayze (variant of Blaise, 'firebrand'), Brandyn, Brander ('sword of fire'), Brendan ('little raven'), Byron.
For girls: Calliope ('the muse of poetry'), Cassandra, Chandra ('the moon which outshines the stars'), Chantrea ('moonbeam'), Celeste, Ceiridwen, Celosia ('burning flame'), Calista ('most beautiful of women'), Caera, Calantha.
For boys: Cadell ('battle spirit'), Cadogan ('war'), Ciaran ('dark-haired'), Cleon, Corbett ('raven'), Corbin ('raven'), Cynfael, Caedmon ('wise warrior'), Cain.
For girls: December, Danika ('morning star'), Desdemona, Destiny, Demetria, Druilla ('elfin vision'. Not to be confused with 'Drusilla', which means 'strong one'), Demelza.
For guys: Damian, Dante, Demetrius, D'Arcy, Davorin ('god of war'), Deverell, Drake ('dragon'), Dorian, Daire.
For girls: Edana ('little fiery one'), Echo, Ebony, Eden, Eirlys ('snowdrop'), Emberlynn, Emerande, Esmeralde, Emmeranne ('raven'), Ennata ('goddess'), Eranthe, Estrella, Ethelinda ('noble serpent'), Evangeline, Eirisse, Electra, Eventide.
For guys: Elwin ('friend of the elves'), Erasmus, Eoghan ('young warrior'), Etienne, Ezekiel, Everild.
For girls: Faine, Faline ('catlike'), Fae ('fairy-like'), Feronia ('a goddess of the forests'), Fleurdelice ('iris, lily'), Fortune, Fern, Fawn, Fanchon ('free being'), Faith.
For guys: Frey.
For girls: Guinevere ('white phantom'), Garnette, Griselda, Gwendoline ('white-browed maid'), Gwendydd ('morning star').
For guys: Gabriel, Gadiel, Gair, Gale, Gareth, Garth, Garroway, Gawain ('battle hawk'), Gethin, Ghislaine, Griffin, Grimbald ('fierce power'), Griswold ('grey forest').
For girls: Hecate, Hagar ('forsaken'), Hesperia ('the evening star'), Hestia ('star'), Hildegarde.
For guys: Heathcliffe, Hunter.
For girls: Indigo, Ivy, Iolana ('soaring like a hawk'), Ianira ('enchantress'), Ianthe, Ione, Isolabella ('the beautiful lonely one'), Isis, Izora ('dawn'), Ivory, Iolanthe.
For guys: Idris ('fiery lord'), Ingram ('the raven's son'), Ishmael.
For girls: Juliet, Jocasta ('shining moon'), Jevera ('life'), Joliette ('violet'), Julianna.
For guys: Jagger, Jael, Jairus, Jarlen, Jarlath, Jorin.
For girls: Kali, Kismet, Kairos ('goddess born last to Jupiter'), Kala ('black'), Kalonice ('beauty's victory'), Kamra ('moon'), Kavita ('poem'), Kiara ('dark'), Ketura, Khalida ('immortal'), Kolfinna ('white lady').
For guys: Kalon, Kane, Keir, Keenan, Kazimir, Keiran, Khalid ('immortal'), Killian.
For girls: Lilith, Lullaby, Lamya ('dark lips'), Layla ('night'), Leandra ('like a lioness'), Lechsinska ('woodland spirit'), Lilah ('black as the night'), Leontine, Lethia ('sweet oblivion'), Levana ('the sun of the dawn'), Lien ('lotus blossom'), Lisha ('the darkness before midnight'), Lorelei ('siren'), Lupe ('she-wolf'), Lycoris ('twilight').
For guys: Leander, Lysander, Lucien, Lancelot, Lance, Leon, Lycidas ('wolf son'), Lothaire.
For girls: Morgan (as in Morgan Le Fay), Myth, Maeve, Magena ('the coming moon'), Mehira, Mallory ('unlucky'), Marianne, Melantha ('dark flower'), Mercy, Meredith, Merle ('blackbird'), Misty, Minerva ('goddess of wisdom'), Myvanwy ('rare one'), Musette ('child of the muses'), Morwenna ('maiden').
For guys: Mordred, Mabon, Magna ('the coming moon'), Malachi ('angel'), Martel ('hammer of war'), Merlin, Melchior, Merle ('the black-haired one').
For girls: Nirvana, Niamh, Naida ('water nymph'), Nebula, Nevada ('as white as the moon'), Nissa ('friendly elf'), Nisha ('night'), Nokomis, Nyx.
For guys: Nehemiah, Niall, Nicodemus, Nodin ('wind').
For girls: Odile, Ophelia, Ordelia ('elf's spear'), Orenda ('magic power'), Osanna ('merciful').
For guys: Oberon, Odolff, Orien, Orion ('son of light'), Ozul ('shadow').
For girls: Phoenix, Phaidra, Persephone, Pixie, Petra, Philomena ('lover of the moon, nightingale'), Psyche,, Pythea, Purity, Poison.
For guys: Phoenix, Paine, Perseus ('destroyer'), Phelan ('brave as the wolf').
For girls: Qadira ('powerful'), Quintella.
For guys: Qadir ('powerful'), Quillan, Quillon ('sword'), Quinn.
For girls: Rhiannon, Raelinn, River, Rhapsody, Ruby, Ravette, Raphaelle, Radella, Renita ('rebel'), Rhodanthe.
For guys: Radomir, Raphael, Rune, Raoul, Randal, Ransley ('from the raven's meadow'), Renwick ('raven's nest'), Rhain, Riordan.
For girls: Scarlett, Sky, Selene, Sapphire, Skylar, Sorcha, Sapphira, Seiran ('sparkling'), Selena, Seraphine, Silvana, Silver.
For guys: Sabien, Salem, Saber, Seain, Severn, Silvan, Sterling, Sullivan ('man with black eyes').
For girls: Tanith, Topaz, Tizane, Tatiana, Tempesta, Thalia, Thora ('thunder'), Timandra ('honour'), Tierney, Thordis ('spirit of Thor'), Trista ('sorrow'), Turaya ('star'), Tourmaline.
For guys: Taos, Tallon, Talon, Tama ('thunderbolt'), Tearle, Thorin, Theron, Thorne.
For girls: Ulva ('she-wolf'), Ursula, Ursulette, Ursuline, Urania.
For guys: Ulfred, Urien.
For girls: Vesper, Vasilisa, Venette, Vanity, Valentina, Vanita ('desired'), Velvet, Velika ('the falling one'), Venus, Vespera ('the evening star').
For guys: Valentine, Valerian.
For girls: Wanette ('the pale one'), Wren, Willow.
For guys: Wolf, Waldron ('strength of the raven'), Wolfram.
For girls: Xanthe, Xylia, Xena, Xaverie.
For guys: Xanthus, Xenos, Xavier.
For girls: Ysabelle, Yolanthe.
For guys: Ywain ('young warrior').
For girls: Zabrina, Zella ('shadow'), Zara, Zephirah ('dawn'), Zetta, Zakira ('remembrance').
For guys: Zachaeus, Zane.
Listening to: Marlene Deitritch's Favourite Poem - Peter Murphy