Surprise! I'm here after all!
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Apologies to my better-mannered readers for the above rant; I was going to write a proper post but I have been out and about today, arranging holidays, doing some heavy lifting, shopping, and, well, strolling on the beach eating an ice cream, but that is entirely beside the point. I am knackered, and I just remembered I got so caught up in melodrama (see above paragraph) that I left my Pot Noodle in the kitchen to become a cold, limp mess. Dammit.
So instead, here are some Gothy Q&A's from the shoutboxes on the old Piczo site. Hopefully you will find them helpful and/or interesting. =) (If not, come back tomorrow...)
|Source: Gothic Charm School @ Tumblr|
Hey, we've all been there - be polite, keep your head, and talk to her calmly about why the scene interests you and why you really feel you want to be part of it. Don't lose your temper or insist that it isn't a phase; she won't believe you. Just carry on as you are and don't let other people's lack of understanding worry you. I know thirty-year-old Goths who still get told they're 'going through a phase'. You might also find some of my other posts helpful.
Abby Agony asked: "I'm confused. I know you must like goth music to be goth, but I only like one song (The Art of Suicide by Emilie Autumn) and so does that mean I am not goth? Because I have a lot of people asking me and I don't know how to answer. And I started to feel really stupid by saying 'I don't know.' :P"
The best answer I can think for you to give people is a little cliched, but very accurate in your case: "I'm just me." Certainly you have interests and tastes in common with Goth, otherwise you wouldn't be interested in this scene. Why not explore the subculture a bit more (try new bands, go to clubs if you can) and in the meantime let people make up their own minds about you? Give them your most mysterious smile and say 'maybe'. What music do you enjoy? You may find, like I did, that some of the bands you like may not be Goth but are Goth-friendly. But in the end I wouldn't worry too much about whether you fit the Goth label or not. You have interests in common with Goths, but being yourself is much more important than belonging to a particular group.
Becky asked: "I have a friend, who calls herself Goth, but sadly, knows nothing about the subculture or music. She's convinced that bands like Slipknot, Evanescance, and Marylin Manson are goth. I have nothing against them, it's all good music, it's just not goth. She's also trying to persuade me that my music, Eg. Bauhaus, Emilie Autumn, Cocteau Twins, etc. is not goth, which gets pretty annoying. Now, my question is how can I (atleast try) to convince her that her music isn't actually goth. I in no way want her to stop listening to it, or force her to listen to proper goth music (I know how irritating that can be), but I would just like to show her what goth and the music is actually about."
Perhaps some visual proof would do the trick, like showing her some of the discussions about 'what Goth is' on websites like Goth.net, or perhaps you have some Goth magazines or zines you could show her, e.g. Gothic Beauty? Better yet, perhaps you could introduce her to some other Goths who could help you set her straight - or take her to a Goth club if you're old enough. Of course, you could always direct her to this site - I'm sure my faithful readers could set her straight! But in the end, it's not important - if none of the above suggestions work, just accept that YOU know you're right and leave it alone. Don't discuss it with her any more, you'll end up getting frustrated and irritated. Chances are she'll either grow out of her 'Goff' phase or discover Goth clubs and bands in her own time.
Hehe asked: "Hi i live in a little city in canada and i can't find any old shchool goth band music like the bauhaus and siouxsie and the banshee's does anyone know were to get anyof those kind of cds?"
I had a look around for you and I found this website which seems to stock quite a good range.
Velvet Wolf asked: "I do love Bauhaus, but I've always been confused about why we still reckon they are one of the best goth bands, when they rejected the label? Clear this up for me Amy please?"
Most of the early Goth bands rejected the label... Siouxsie and the Banshees, the Sisters, even The Cure. I guess we decided that we liked their sound a whole lot better than their attitude. Also, it might have something to do with the fact that labels aren't particularly important, so it was kind of a "Hey, be Goth, be punk, be whatever - we like your music so we don't really care..." And besides, their music has always been thought of as the essence of the Goth scene, whether they like it or not. (Spawning a subculture against your will, and then being permanently adopted by it - how's that for unlucky?) So there's no definite answer, but I hope this little ramble of mine helps...
Bre asked: "I was hoping you would be able to tell me how you came across Ice Goth because I have been very interested in it and can not seem to find much on it at all."
I came across it online, on a list of 'Goth types' (some of which were even serious!), which you can find here. It's only a really brief mention ('Negative Goth - wearer of white garb'.) but it gave me the impetus to go dig around.
Brooke asked: "So I need like.. Advice.. I've been goth on the inside for years. Lately I've been switching to the style. There's just a small problem. ...I'm scared. I'm always being called "so pretty" and stuff. I'm just worried people will start to dislike me. I know it's ridiculous for me to worry about this, especially since dressing like a goth is something I've wanted to do since I was a kid. 5-6 at that. Anyways.. Do you have any advice..?"
It might help if you introduce the change slowly, and be sure to explain to your friends and family why this is important to you. If you can reassure them that you're still 'you', not an ooky-spooky evil creature of darkness, most people will be accepting. Since this is something you've wanted to do for such a long time, it seems a shame to be held back by worrying about what other people will think, but I understand how you feel. I was a bit anxious myself when I started dressing Goth. Luckily, my friends just took it in their stride and I'm sure yours will do the same - after all, don't people choose friends that like them for who they are? On the topic of 'prettiness', you may want to avoid swamping your features with heavy make-up, rather focus on emphasising your assets (no, not THOSE assets!) - if you're pretty, you'll be pretty no matter how you choose to dress. Just take it gradually and be prepared to answer any questions your friends may have.
Bex asked: "Where would you recommend I get a pair of resonably priced-parent friendly-chunky boots? Because it seems I'm stcuk between a pair of plain boring mainstream boots or Rocks, and I'd like something in-between."
If you live in the UK, try your local ShoeZone and/or Peacocks. They often stock cheap boots that look similar to Doc Martens - nice and chunky, also very practical. Otherwise, check the kind of places that sell work boots - markets, bootsales, army surplus etc - you'll probably find a nice pair of steel-toed combats at a relatively reasonable price.
Muffin asked: "What is your most embarrassing wardrobe malfunction?"
Either the time I had a long black skirt on, I stood on the hem and the skirt came down. While I was doing a dance performance on stage. Or the time I was wearing a long silver skirt and the wind blew it right up in the middle of the high street. >.< At least I had decent knickers on!
Rebecca asked: "hi amy i just wanted to know what is your favorite lipstick i have started wearing dark red because i have pale skin and it makes my eyes pop out what do ou like to wear?"
At the moment I love Revlon ColourStay in Top Tomato, but I love experimenting with weird colours. Today I bought a white lipstick and a lilac one. ^^
I think that'll do for today, folks! If you have a question you'd like answered, you can drop me a comment and I'll get back to you! (I don't mind anonymous comments so you don't need a Blogger account.) If I take a long time to answer, I'm either saving your question for one of these Q&A's, or I feel your question requires an entire reader request post!