Merry Beltane, readers!
For those of you who wonder why I insist on reading the Daily Mail, the UK's stuffiest and most conservative broadsheet, it's because without it, I wouldn't pick up on such highly amusing tidbits as the Mail's (apparently gormless) fashion writers flailing all over themselves to complicate a simple piece of clothing that has been a staple of the Goth scene for decades.
Right, Gothlings. Let's do a brief survey:
How many of you - ladies and gentlemen alike - own a full-length (ankle length to floor length, or even longer) skirt, aka a 'maxi-skirt'? Or more than one?
Or (like me) more than ten?
How many of you have worn it to a club, concert or other event?
How many of you incorporate it into your everyday wardrobe?
But overall, the 'maxi' is a refreshingly simple garment to wear. It goes with everything. It hides a multitude of sins - from hairy legs to the last of the fake tan from that party outfit that seemed like a great idea at the time. You can layer it up with petticoats and a bustle for a more elaborate outfit, or throw on a tank top, studded belt and baseball boots for casual Goth chic. Worried about tripping on the hem? Wear platforms!
|I bought this maxi at a Travelling Trends fashion show. It was covered in sequins and clashing beads, ruining the effect of the delicate lace, which I spent two hours painstakingly removing (the sequins and beads, not the lace).|
Well, no, if one happens to write for the Daily Mail. Lydia Slater describes the maxi as 'long on style, short on dignity', which should have Victorian Goths everywhere spluttering into their tea. She goes on to describe the look as 'low-key, wearable and no-fuss'. Low-key? I should damn well hope not. Us Gothy fashionistas don't drag the maxi skirt out of the wardrobe to be described as 'low-key', dahling!
'For maxi chic, your toes should be on display'. I hate to be crude, but... naff off. My toes make an appearance roughly three times a year.
For her article, Lydia road-tests three maxi-skirt outfits for work, weekend and evening - and proceeds to use very little common sense and generally make a hash of what Goth ladies (and gents) have been doing with elegance for the last twenty or thirty years. Bless.
Some tips for those who would like to rock the maxi without following Lydia's example (which you can read more about here, should some of the following points go over your head):
- If sweeping, tuck your skirt into your waistband or lift it out of the way with one hand. It's only logical, really...
- When using an escalator, gather your skirt and lift it slightly with one hand as you would when climbing stairs.
- Lydia does make one good point - if riding a bike, make damn sure it has a skirt guard fitted so your beloved maxi doesn't get chewed up and grimy.
- But, thinking on it... don't ride a bike in a maxi, unless you are certain you can manage it with a certain degree of dignity. Lydia manages to expose her underwear. Yes, our Edwardian ancestors could do it. But they had practice. And deportment training. And never wore anything EXCEPT a full-length skirt.
- When picnicking, spread a napkin on your lap. Or use a plate. Honestly, I do not know why Lydia makes a mess of her skirt whilst picnicking. What else would one wear for a cemetery picnic, after all?