I recently Tweeted about that awkward moment when you visit an old family friend you haven't seen in some years, and - perfectly logically - they ask, "So what's Goth?" Now, you KNOW what Goth is. You've been dressing this way for five years and had an interest in it for even longer. You've had to go through the process of explaining it to friends, family, psychotherapists, teachers, doctors, and maybe even your dentist. But this time, your brain goes blank and your default one-liner explanation seems to have vanished into the ether. Leaving you floundering for words like a startled goldfish, feeling embarrassed because now you look like you've dressed up like a Goth and had metal stapled through various parts of your face without actually knowing what Goth IS.
However, a couple of my Twitter followers had their own awkward Goth moments (high five to the self-described 'mundane' who, thanks to this blog, "now knows more about Goth than their Goth friend") to share; my long-term internet chum Laurel pointed out that such a moment is usually followed by the even awkwarder (is that a word?) moment when a hopelessly clueless non-Goth tries to tell YOU what Goth is.
This is awkward because said non-Goth is usually very sure of their 'facts', which tend to be every single ridiculous eye-rolling cliche-laden mallgothtastic stereotype you've been trying to escape from for the past four years (or longer). Escape from THAT situation without embarrassing anyone, if you can...
|That is some incredibly beautiful eye make-up!|
Have you, like me, startled new co-workers by your very presence (I had one trip over his own feet and fall backwards when I came around a corner towards him, and one who actually jumped in the air and let out a little shriek. :-/)?
Had a situation like the joke my dad likes to tell: "I was on my way to a Halloween party dressed as the Grim Reaper, but I stopped at the wrong house. A little old lady answered the door and was terrified at the sight of me. It probably didn't help when I apologised for being late..."?
Ladies and gentlemen, the floor (or rather, comment box) is clear for your very own Awkward Goth Moments. Please, don't be shy...