Friday, 7 October 2011

Awkward Goth moments

I recently Tweeted about that awkward moment when you visit an old family friend you haven't seen in some years, and - perfectly logically - they ask, "So what's Goth?" Now, you KNOW what Goth is. You've been dressing this way for five years and had an interest in it for even longer. You've had to go through the process of explaining it to friends, family, psychotherapists, teachers, doctors, and maybe even your dentist. But this time, your brain goes blank and your default one-liner explanation seems to have vanished into the ether. Leaving you floundering for words like a startled goldfish, feeling embarrassed because now you look like you've dressed up like a Goth and had metal stapled through various parts of your face without actually knowing what Goth IS.


However, a couple of my Twitter followers had their own awkward Goth moments (high five to the self-described 'mundane' who, thanks to this blog, "now knows more about Goth than their Goth friend") to share; my long-term internet chum Laurel pointed out that such a moment is usually followed by the even awkwarder (is that a word?) moment when a hopelessly clueless non-Goth tries to tell YOU what Goth is.

This is awkward because said non-Goth is usually very sure of their 'facts', which tend to be every single ridiculous eye-rolling cliche-laden mallgothtastic stereotype you've been trying to escape from for the past four years (or longer). Escape from THAT situation without embarrassing anyone, if you can...

That is some incredibly beautiful eye make-up!
So what about you? Surely somebody else out there has an awkward Goth moment to share? Have your fake fangs fallen out in a restaurant? Fishnets caught on a door handle whilst you were trying to be smooth? Elegant flowing cape gotten caught in a bus door?

Have you, like me, startled new co-workers by your very presence (I had one trip over his own feet and fall backwards when I came around a corner towards him, and one who actually jumped in the air and let out a little shriek. :-/)?

Had a situation like the joke my dad likes to tell: "I was on my way to a Halloween party dressed as the Grim Reaper, but I stopped at the wrong house. A little old lady answered the door and was terrified at the sight of me. It probably didn't help when I apologised for being late..."?

Ladies and gentlemen, the floor (or rather, comment box) is clear for your very own Awkward Goth Moments. Please, don't be shy...


Laura said...

I once got told I wasn't goth by a classmate who knew nothing about goth. I was wearing a black sweater, black skirt, black tights, and a Velvet Underground shirt. However, I wasn't a goth because I didn't like Marilyn Manson or smoke. Oh, and there was the kid who was convinced that goth and emo were the exact same thing. :P

Dark Fantomzy said...

One of my buddies once asked me what kind of Goth music I was into. I started naming Siouxsie, The Sisters of Mercy, etc but once I got to The Cure, she stared at me in horror and shrieked, "The Cure aren't Goth, they're emo!" followed by a very awkward silence.

Toxic Tears said...

Got my fishnets caught on the sequined bag belonging to the biggest chav in school during the school disco.>__< Haha.

And I frequently have people walk into lamposts, fail to notice green lights, almost crash their cars, and trip backwards over curbs and nearly knock themselves out due to staring at me. But thats just funny.

LovleAnjel said...

I was once sitting at a decorative fountain at the mall waiting for a friend to meet me for a movie. A girl ran over and told me how beautiful she thought I was, I was the most gorgeous person she'd ever seen,I should never feel ashamed, ect ect. I just stared at her with a "derh" expression on my face, then said, "Um...thanks...?"

The Irish Phantom Cat said...

I remember once when I was sixteen and got on the bus whilst sporting my new and VERY long skirt. I stood on it whilst getting onto the bus, pulled it down far enough for it to be thoroughly embarrassing and let out a pretty big scream. Which alerted everyone on the bus to my situation. They probably wouldn't have noticed otherwise! I cringe just thinking about it!

Mira said...

Whenever I wear black lipstick, it always tends to smear, leaving me with grey lips after about two hours!

Celeste said...

I posted a picture on facebook of me sporting my new black gothy outfit and was chatting a friend of my friend's when he asked me if I was a good witch or a bad witch. The thing was, the kid I was chatting is legalily blind.

Anonymous said...

Too many safety pin and fishnet incidents to name. I tried to avoid this guy once by rushing out of a room, only to get my fishnets caught on my zippered armbands. It was entirely counterproductive due to the fact he came over to unhook my inner thigh from myself. -_-

As for the rare few people who try to explain to me what Goth is, my favourite never fail response is to smile politely, tilt my head and say "Well you're clearly the expert on things."

Anonymous said...

I was asked if I was related to Tim Burton by a classmate before I graduated, when I said no he then went on to ask if I was a vampire. I said no. That same night I had my vamp fangs in for a party and we bumped into each other at a store and I said hi to him, exposing my fangs he literally dropped his groceries in shock.

Tenebris In Lux said...

All these responses are a little funny, and I can relate to them in one way or another ..

Let's see ..

One time I was opening a door OUTWARD and some kids were on the other side -- this was a classroom door -- and I didn't see them, so I almost hit them. The one dude (a jock) gave me a freakin' death glare and muttered "monster devil bitch girl nearly killed you, you fucker!" and me. I stood there dumbly.

Or the incident I talked about in my post today, about the prep/clique girl accusing me of thinking that I was "so cool" in a disgusted tone because I happened to wear two articles that are popular right now (fedora hat and aviator sunglasses).

Tenebris In Lux said...

Oh! And one time a girl asked if I was Goth. I confirmed. Then she proceeded to ask "where my makeups was" ..?! I get that a lot, because I don't wear makeup.

Kitty Lovett; The Unadulterated Cat said...

^pretty much all of these.

My constant embarassments are as follows:

-walking along with my parasol in full bustled Victorian attire, put parasol down and attempt to use it as a walking stick...only to have it open again as I go to walk along in an oh-so-stately manner.

-sitting at the dinner table with my aunt who already hates my guts, even without what she calls "whore dressing", and having my garter snap VERY VERY LOUDLY when there was a sudden dead silence. I wasn't embarassed, though, because I love to annoy her, but she was. (this also happened to heather, when she was at the table with her over 9000 uncles)

-fucking stairs. Stairs are my downfall, not necessarily because I'm a goth and my outfits are ridiuclous and unreasonable, but because of my hips. So people just see this young woman hobbling up the stairs like a decrepit old woman.

-walking in my boots or otherwise tall shoes, and right when i'm walking across the road in front of peak hour traffic, tripping, stumbling or bending my ankle.

-having to explain to makeup artists/mall makeup vendors that no, my skin is not "lifeless and pale" and nor does it need "brightening".

Things that happen to me a lot that might embarass a lot of people but don't me include: fish-mouthed little girls (and occasionally boys, but their parents always feel the need to say "look, it's a princess!", much to their brickshitting), old people molesting my waistline (and old people always approach me if they need directions and such), and getting really frigging weird looks when I walk into "nana clothing" shops. Oh the trials of gothdom.

scissorface said...

I was talking to this girl a year below me, and we were saying how uncool it was to do drugs, drink excessively underage, have underage sex etc. Afterwards she asked me "Then how are you a goth?"
All I could do was blink and ramble on about music, clothes, lifestyle and so on.

Shi said...

My sister (who is very old-school punk) and I once caused a car accident. It wasn't on purpose, obviously, but these people (who were possibly tourist) slowed down to look at us as we were walking along the bridge beside the round-about and someone smacked into the back of them... I'm not sure if it was the way we were dressed or the fact we were dancing as we walked... still, I feel guilty about it!

Oh Lace-Clad One said...

I habitually wear lace or fishnet gloves almost every hand once got caught on a hook on my jacket just as someone I'd just been introduced to went to shake my hand. =P

Asheley B. said...

Tripping on your own Tripp Pants while squatting to read books at book stores and library. I think I was getting trolled when I bought those pants because I tend to trip over them when I get up from either a squatting position or from sitting on my own feet. You toughness ranting or non-conformist ranting starts to plummet not only because you bought this pants, but because the straps get caught on everything including your own body. I understand why they are called Tripps in the first place.

Anonymous said...

Oh gosh, wear to start.
-Having someone stare and point at you, causing everyone else in the mall to stare at you.
-People slowing down their cars or walking into poles and such.
-Trying to look oh-so elegant and then twisting your ankle in a hole thanks to your high-heeled boots.
-Tripping over your long skirt and almost falling on your face.
-People asking "Are you Goth?" "Yes..." "No your not! You're emo!!!" (Why do they ask if they already *ahem* THINK they know?
-Trying to explain that No, Marilyn Manson is not Goth.
-People screaming when they think the spider in your hair is real.
-Tourists taking pictures of you (especially around Halloween!)
-Getting caught in doors, zippers, on people... -____-
-Getting a run in your new tights and people look at you weird when you try to add more so it looks okay. (This happened during school.)
-The best is still when people are staring at you and run into/trip over random objects. XD

x-akurei said...

The fishnets... I can relate. I was getting on the bus and somehow managed to become attached to the door by my fishnet tights for a good five minutes. The bus driver just gave me the same dead-pan, very disapproving, impatient stare all the while.

Another awkward moment was Christmas Day last year. My parents are divorced but my dad lives within walking distance, so I decided to walk up to his house at lunch time. Naturally, being Christmas Day, I'd recieved quite a few wonderful items of clothing, including a pair of new 6" platforms... Me being me, I opted to wear them to break them in on the walk to my dad's. Black ice and platform shoes are NEVER a good combination. I went sliding along the pavement and ended up in a heap beside someone's garden fence, unfortunately just as a stream of cars went by on the road. Oh, humiliation.

I've also had many awkward moments in National Trust and English Heritage properties (you know, like the old houses) when other members of the public have approached me and asked whether there's going to be a performance or something equally as odd, thinking I was a member of staff dressed up for some occassion. Actually, that's quite amusing...

Angel of Darkness said...

Oh let's see now... When I was wearing my long sleeve black shirt with whole in it and safety pins I found that I got a safety pin stuck in my coat when trying to take it off. Also when wearing my trench coat I more than once got it stuck in the door or have the wind suddenly blow it up into the air, which is actually fun.

Anonymous said...

I can't wear fishnets to my goth friend's house anymore because her dog's claws always tore them. I'm not sure how her clothes survive...

One time, I was at a park with my ex-boyfriend, and some guy randomly stopped and said that he looked like a cool goth and that I "was close, but needed to work on it." This pissed me off for two reasons: My ex was just wearing a plain black t-shirt and pants; no effort was put into the look at all. Maybe it was the sunglasses? Second, my ex wasn't even goth. He knew nothing of the music, hated the clubs when I brought him, and made fun of me when I listened to The Sisters of Mercy XD

Elle Insanity said...

-_- I have some.

- I live on a busy street and I walk a lot. Nearly caused a few car accidents because of the unnecessary stares.
- My black flowing skirt flying up in the wind while walking on said busy street.
- OH THE BABY BAT DAYS! OH HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO REALIZE HEAVY BLACK EYELINER AND BLACK LIPSTICK LOOK TERRIBLE ON ME!!! -falls onto the ground cringing and clawing at face in mortal terror-
- Getting screamed and yelled at by my Aunt in the middle of a Chinese restaurant because, apparently, she knows what goth is better than someone who has been one for 5 years. Worse, there was an elder-goth with her friend/boyfriend/husband across from us... after a few minutes of my aunt screaming like a banshi, the girl and her man just got up and left.
- Platform boots clanking loudly at church, in school hallways, at the grocery store, in the library, at the bookstore... As if there were not enough people staring at you without making so much noise. Same goes for chains, thus why I wear neither in any "silent" public places anymore.

scarletacid said...

while i was shopping at a craft store i had this one lady stop me (i was wearing my spider head band and other spider accessories) and she said ohhh are you dresses up for Halloween?!?!
and i was like no i dress like this all the time *smile*
then she said so Halloween must be your holiday
i just laughed xD

HollyElise said...

Babybat days... oh dear Lord the dark purple lipgloss. Save me from the purple lipgloss.
Being informed by my (wonderful, accepting) mom that my grandma had asked if I "was trying to be one of those people who wears all black". Uh. Duh?
Now? Getting stares from people in public when I'm carrying my daughter (in her purple blanket or purple Moby Wrap). Yes, Goths can be parents - damn good ones!

Anonymous said...

I didn't relies that the first two school periods would be spent cleaning up after the school play; so, of coarse, I wore my fishnets and my tallest heels. Then got the order to take apart the stage and push an enormous dumpster across campus. Too much fishnet snagging going on, and the heels were just a bother.

Dani DeathBiscuit said...

(I'm going to add another fishnet story.. or 3...)

- Gotten fishnet shirt (which was basically a pair of stockings with my head in the crotch and worn as a shirt underneath a sweater) caught on my friends expensive silver bracelet... so I went.. "It's ok :)" -RIPS FISHNET- *this was at school, so a few students and teachers saw this* reaction: O_o wuh?

- Worn Demonia boots in and around town with fishnets, SO MANY STARES.
Been asked, "Are those hard to walk in?! :o" by an older woman.

- At a Wiccan/Pagan discussion group at a friends house, cat decides to claw at my fishnet stockings, OUCH!

- People saying, "Excuse me.. there is a hole in your stockings-" *iturnroundtolookatthem* .. "-oh.... nevermind O___O"

- Crazy science teacher at school telling me my green hair made me look like a tree... and hairdressers saying my blue hair is AWESOME and it ALSO makes me look like a peacock. Yyyaaaay?

- Many children saying, "LOOK MUMMY, THAT GIRL HAS PINK/BLUE HAIR!" or hiding behind parents...

- Getting death-stares from old ladies whilst eating sushi, noodles & bubble tea through a glass window.

- KFC worker telling me they like my rockabilly cardigan and bloomers combo.

- Making friends because we are equally strange to most people :3 (not awkward, but still kinda nice!)

- Grandparents making silly jokes. "Are ripped stockings IN this season?" "Not really." "Ah, I see. That's the point, right? To be different?"

- Aunty discussing the gifts she got me & ze family then turning to me and saying, "I didn't get you it, I didn't think you liked pink." .. ":O BUT I LOVE PINK!!"

Anonymous said...

One time I asked my sister { who is very non goth} to pick me up some vamp fangs in my local {and bad} alternative store cus she was going into town and i couldnt. So she went into the shop and asked the girl at the till if she had vampire fangs. They girl thought she misheard, so my sis handed her the piece of paper were i had written down the fangs i wanted. Apparently, the girl burst out laughing and didnt stop for several minutes, and then said uh... no we dont stock them....

Anonymous said...

In my metalhead days, I had a blazer with a very jingly belt. And I was wearing my boots, so...yeah. It was pretty loud.
I have stepped on my long flowy skirt when getting up onto the auditorium stage to perform a pantomime for drama class. There was a guy behind me who had to wait for me to right myself.
Also, when I walked into the guidance office to pay for an AP test, the ladies inside were commenting on my gloves, almost surrounding me, while I tried to find where I was supposed to go. "Look at those gloves." "Their cute!" "That's different!." They were armwarmers with buckles on them.
Then there was this moment before church with an old(ish) lady and my lace gloves: "What are those? Are those gloves?" "Yes ma'am." "What are you wearing gloves for?" "I like them?" "Oh...well."

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