Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Goth-spotting: Snog, Marry, Avoid

I have a confession to make: I spend a large portion of my free time watching really crap TV, and just lately I've discovered a show more painful than most... With a title like Snog Marry Avoid, I guess I shouldn't really have been surprised.

What DID surprise me, however, was the amount of Goths putting themselves forward to take part in this cringe-worthy makeover show, wherein the saccharine ex-Atomic Kitten singer Jenny Frost aids 'POD', the robotic Personal Overhaul Device, to turn those who enjoy 'extreme' fake fashion, be it heavy make-up, fake tan, loads of glitter or bling, into 'natural beauties'. (Yes, you CAN be a Goth and have natural beauty... I can do a post on this if you'd like.)

POD does not differentiate between fake-tanned glamour models and bleached-blonde (look who's talking) WAG wannabes, brightly-coloured multi-pierced ravers and Harajuku fashion fans, or us black-clad types, being equally rude to all of them (I'm not sure it's acceptable to call people a freak even if you are a computer, but I might be biased) before a team of BBC stylists turns them into identikit 'normies', often wearing a woolly beret for some reason.

It's interesting to note that POD and the make-under team often refuse to work their magic on Gothy types - I have a suspicion this is because many of the Goths refuse to allow it. However they even manage to rope in some underground celebrities for their show, mainly for the shock factor as far as I can tell, as Nick Painless of The Shanklin Freak Show demonstrates in this clip on the BBC website.

Biohazard goes face-to-screen with POD
Source: Google Images
You would think that the timeless elegance of Lolita would withstand a bashing and possibly even meet approval from the conservative BBC, but even these beautifully dressed Japanese fashion fans are in for a bashing, with their style described as 'wrong' in the following clip. I think they look lovely!

The very dashing fashion student Tommy, with enviable eyebrows and fabulously Gothy hairstyle describes his style as 'putting the 'fun' in 'funeral''. I actually LOVE what this guy wears! A shame we don't get to see POD's reaction... And how about these two fabulous punk ladies?!

Think I'm done yet? Think again. On YouTube we have the lovely Stitches13, well-known in the UK Goth scene, and her ex-boyfriend Carl, submitting to a makeunder. A well-attired cybergoth refuses the makeunder (watch from 03:06), and the BBC even get their hands on Izzi the elf, alt model, Cyberdog girl and aficionado of bright fashion (with the MOST ADORABLE smile ever). And oh my god, they should not have been allowed to do this to Collagen Girl.

And more. Here (Angel Rose, big-haired Goth from LA). Here (Pixie, the Gothic Geisha - although she's not a Goth). And here (more of Stitches13 and Carl at the start, assorted beauty tips from people on the street including several Goths, followed by a Visual Kei fan). And here. Oh, and even here.

I really love watching these clips and seeing all the daring, outlandish and beautiful fashions... but I disagree that POD's idea of natural beauty is always better. It's a shame that the creators of this show can't seem to see that beauty can be about more than looking 'normal' and that having fun with your look is a simple pleasure. In the cases of some of the divas and Barbie girls (I actually quite like her look, it's fun!) the makeunders might be beneficial, because the image they are creating is to make them more attractive to the opposite sex and in some cases more about self-esteem; it's nice for them to realise that they can still be pretty and attractive without four tonnes of slap and false eyelashes. But when people are just experimenting, having fun and enjoying their image - what's wrong with that, why does it need to be changed?


Kitty Lovett; The Unadulterated Cat said...

Miltary Cybergoth Lady, I love you. I would marry you. :|

seriously. she's adorable. "I don't really smile but that's not a goth thing. It's because it makes me look like a chipmunk."

Plus yeah, that machine is kind of a cunt. :|

Darkness Kitty said...

I think we deserve it. The most goths I know are just a bunch of drunk teenagers whose idea of gothic activity is dance in a club, giving a kick to the vast culture that's behind. And that's how goth looks today, we only know about music and where to buy rare clothing. I never found an interesting goth person in TV, they never talk about art, literature or such, just "hey! goth was so important to me, I love this fashion! :D". That things turn Goth people into black jesters :P

Chloris said...

I'd love to see a post on "Goth + Natural Beauty", Amy!

Dismantlynn said...

I love when the women named Biohazard said POD sounded like a Dalek! hahahaha

Regina Zee said...

I definitely second Chloris, an article about natural beauty in Goth will be wonderful. :D

As for Snog, Marry, Avoid... it's not the type of program I'd usually watch.
However, I do enjoy seeing all these unique individuals who clearly don't take themselves too seriously and allow themselves to have fun.

I really enjoyed watching Ebony's video, for example. She may look 'scary' [I think she looks amazing, personally. :P], but you can tell she's actually a lovely person.
There's nothing that makes me more happy than seeing "scary Goths" prove that they, despite what most people think, can have fun and not necessarily be a "Gloom-and-Doom Monster of the Night" 24/7. :)

linnea-maria said...

I totally agree with you Amy! Then what did pod do, lots of hair dye, extensions teeth whitening and foundation i bet. How natural is that? would also love a post about natural beauty goth. I dont do much with my hair becaus I want it to grow longer and i use makeup sparely because lack of time and for the skins health.

akumaxkami said...

Natural Beauty Goth sounds like a great idea.

LovleAnjel said...

This is hilarious! I wish What Not To Wear would replace its hosts with a Dalek. It's good to see people articulately defend themselves against the snark.

Yes, please, a natural goth post!

Naomi said...

I think POD sounds like a cunt. It's not polite to offend people... even if you are a computer. People can look beautiful without looking like they came straight out of the mainstream factory. It was fun to see all of these extreme and extavagant people, though. I feld sorry for the cute little lolita and her kodona boyfriend. Altough I didn't agree on his mini tophat. But I only very rarely find them to look good on people :P

I would love to see a natural goth beauty article ^^

Anonymous said...

I don't understand what they did to Collagen Girl that was so bad...Explain please?

ultimategothguide said...

Anon - seriously? That dress made her look chunky and the colour didn't suit her at all, not to mention the maniac they let loose on her hair made it look like a wet cowpat. I thought she looked stunning before. I guess this is just personal opinion really but I thought the before was way more flattering and suited her much better.

Toxic Tears said...

"It's interesting to note that POD and the make-under team often refuse to work their magic on Gothy types - I have a suspicion this is because many of the Goths refuse to allow it"

Actually, thats not true.:) All POD's bitchiness is simply for the sake of the show, but in some episodes you'll hear her say things along the lines of "Clearly you are comfortable with yourself" (Not that exact sentence obviously, but words to that effect). My friend was on the show (Pixel Dot) and apparently one of the main people in charge is a fairly gothy girl, thats why they mostly re-do the messes and leave the goths as they are. They just wouldn't get as many views if POD was mean to chavs and nice to goths.:P

ultimategothguide said...

Toxic Tears - I'd watch it... ^^

Toxic Tears said...

Watch what? The show? I've seen almost every episode.:P

Anonymous said...

A goth image being dumbed down to suddenly look bland. Right. I want my money back. There isn't enough goth looks in the media as it is. Great. Now she's just gonna look sophomoric and housewifey and blonde :( What a sad samey world we live in.

Biohazard said...

I finally got round to watching my appearance on SMA the other day, i noticed how they edited my clip to make it look like POD defeated my quest!

biohazard the CYBA GORF

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