There has always been rivalry amongst Goths. Usually it's friendly bickering and teasing over who has the biggest hair, the smallest corseted waist, the awesome-est boots or the biggest bat collection. Comments flying back and forth are usually quite complimentary: "GORGEOUS make-up!" (with a mental note to go home and practise eyeliner squiggles until one's arm drops off). Unfortunately, somewhere between mild envy and good-natured teasing and Gother-than-thou syndrome lies the uncomfortable territory of overcompetitiveness.
It's very draining if every time you meet up with said person or switch on your computer, you're but needled by snide comments and remarks. You just got new boots? Well, theirs have a higher platform and are from a 'better' brand. You just got a snakebite piercing? How passe. They just got their first tattoo. You just dyed your hair red? Theirs was like that last month, but brighter. -_-
If this person starts attending the same events as you, they spend that time trying to 'out-Goth' you, which would be amusing if it wasn't so irritating. You just want to have a good time and a laugh, but instead you have to put up with them rolling their eyes because you chose to order a Malibu and Coke instead of a snakebite and black.
Over-competitiveness may take many forms. At the extreme end of the spectrum, she may offer to help you do your make-up for the event of the year... and screw it up accidentally on purpose. Perhaps she 'just happens' to stab her stiletto heel through the train of your new dress. Is he less honest than he could be about precisely how big your butt looks in those PVC trousers so you go out feeling chunky whilst he's snake-hipped and svelte?
Everyone is likely to indulge in a little Gothier-than-thou from time to time - it's perfectly normal to be secretly proud if your hair looks better or whatever. But most of us know where to draw the line because really, why would you want to take yourself so seriously all the time? Why would you want to take Goth so seriously? Perhaps a bit rich coming from someone who writes a blog called 'the Ultimate Goth Guide', but it's not only natural but encouraged to pop your tongue in your cheek from time to time. It's not nice to feel pressured to be the spookiest Goth in the graveyard all the damn time.
But look on the bright side, dear darkling. It isn't actually as bad as it seems. The only logical reason for someone to start playing the Gothier Than Thou game in this way is because... they're threatened by you. They haven't yet discovered that 'Gothiness' is different for each individual and can't be marked on a sliding scale, so they're huffing and puffing to try and prove that THEY are the darkest and spookiest kid in town.
It's irritating. And frustrating. Particularly if you helped to guide this person into Gothdom by letting them borrow your Sisters CDs and your second best eyeliner. But feel smug in the knowledge that, in a few years time, this person (depending on how self-aware they are) may look back and realise that whilst they have been trying to prove How Very Goth they are, they have only succeeded in making themselves look like an insecure newbie. Plus, their newfound scene popularity at your local Goth joint is hardly going to last unless they learn to make conversation on a subject other than themselves and how dark/sexy/creative they are. It might be annoying at the time, but people are going to be able to see through this kind of self-absorbed behaviour.
On the other side of the fence, we all like to look nice, but if you're continually trying to outdo everybody else, not only are you doomed to eventually fail but you're showing signs of overcompensating for a lack of genuine self-confidence. If you're turning all your interactions with somebody into a competition, they may be amused at first but after a while they're going to get ticked off with your behaviour and probably won't want to spend much time with you.
Not to mention that what you're doing screams insecurity - you may think you're coming off looking cool, confident, and the Gothiest Goth in Spooksville, but since this kind of rivalry is usually the preserve of mallgoths, poseurs and less experienced Goths, at best you're currently looking insecure and a little childish - at worst, downright conceited and maybe a bit of a bully. Maybe you should stop trying to be the all-singing, all-dancing ookiest spookiest member of the Addams Family all the time and learn to chill out.