THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES

Friday, 20 April 2012

How to tell if you are a closet Goth

I have recently been asked how somebody can tell if they are a 'repressed Goth'. Frankly, I'd say that if you're starting to wonder whether or not you have some Gothy tendencies you probably do, otherwise why would you be so intrigued by the entire notion of this spooky subculture? ;-) But *places tongue firmly in cheek* I was pondering today about how somebody might tell if they had repressed Gothiness, so I came up with the following 'symptoms':

  1. A preference for black or dark clothing; you cringe at the sight of yellow skinny jeans and wouldn't be caught dead in pink Uggs.
  2. People constantly ask you if you're Goth, emo, or if you worship the devil.
  3. You strive, consciously or unconsciously, for elegance, and as such can often be caught frowning at people who don't understand that jogging bottoms are for jogging and that the point of trousers is to cover one's underwear.
  4. Rather than allowing yourself to be spoonfed top-forty hits out of convenience, you actively seek out new and interesting musicians, whereever they may lurk.
  5. (OK, so most of those bands feature thought-provoking, insightful lyrics, music in a minor key or with an otherwise dark or melancholy air, but what's your point?)
  6. Halloween is every day. No, seriously.
  7. The Addams Family, The Munsters, Elvira.
  8. Your bedroom looks like a small library.
  9. You can't leave the house without being handed religious pamphlets.
  10. In school you got excited when you had to read Poe for your homework. (And didn't bother, because you'd already got The Raven memorised anyway.)
  11. "Cheer up."
  12. Children (and their parents) eye you with suspicion.
  13. Secretly, your dream car is a hearse.
  14. You find ruined castles, desolate buildings, old churches and crumbling gravestones hauntingly beautiful.
  15. If you wear something that isn't black, everyone around you seems to feel an irrepressible urge to tell you about it.
  16. You like to surround yourself with interesting, intelligent people - it may not be a huge group, but you'd rather have a good conversation than look popular.
  17. Sunshine? Blech. On the beach you wear jeans and huddle under an umbrella.
  18. You have written poetry involving the words 'blood', 'death' and 'mourn'.
  19. You operate on a semi-nocturnal, caffeine-fuelled schedule.
  20. You haven't owned a pair of flip-flops since you were nine.
Eva O

36 comments:

TanteFledermaus said...

I prefer to think of myself as a "bat in seagull's clothing." And flipflops are required in California.

Amy Asphodel said...

Fair enough ;-)

Katelynn said...

I would totally rock the pink uggs :P

Amy Asphodel said...

I believe you. Mine are purple XD

Daniel_8964 said...

I see myself as individualist. :)

Kaguya said...

This sounds like me during my baby bat years XD

Marmalade Marionette said...

Wow, 8 things apply to me. Is that normal? (4, 6, 7, 8, 10, 14, 16, 17) :]

Lindsay said...

Eleven of these apply to me :P

Anonymous said...

Seriously. I actually own more than one pair. All of them are black, though.

All but three of these apply to me, as I rather enjoy jogging pants & flip-flops, and I don't wear jeans (but I do sit under something at the beach). I think you may have forgotten one, though: You can't rrecall the last time your bare legs saw the light of day.

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with flip-flops?? LOL *is wearing them now* THEY'RE BLACK, SO I GET TO KEEP MY GOTH POINTS xD

Kitty Lovett; The Unadulterated Cat said...

>flip-flops

fuck you all, they're called thongs. #australia

Shaun is a closet goth. He denies it, but it's so obvious. He denied being a brony for a while there but gave up fighting that one when he realised that fluttershy is best pony.

Kitty Lovett; The Unadulterated Cat said...

And no ugg boots around here for two reasons: 1, we're vegetarian, and 2, Ridcully would piss on them.

Maeam said...

...You know...I really haven't worn flip-flops since I was around 9...

I think my brother might be a semi-closet goth. Or something of the sort. Definitely not one, but he fits just a little bit to the typical, ordinary goth. Not the misunderstood ones...and I have wonderfully corrupted him with his music taste...

Anonymous said...

There should also be another one "you have never been mistaken for goth in your life but you have at least 5 goth blogs in your feed reader" (actually there are so totally days that my outfit ought to be getting me mistook, but between being a blonde and unable to wear black eyeliner...somehow it doesn't get questioned for some reason...)

BlacknickSculpture said...

Going by my dislike of bright sunlight, skinny jeans and flip flops I'd be a repressed Goth ; )

Stefanie said...

I have never worn flip flops although when I was 9-ish there were bright pink jelly sandals and when I was 11-12 there were lime green wedge sandals for round the garden.

"Your bedroom looks like a small library" add the hallway to that and my books have even migrated to my mums room, no kidding there is around (if not more than) 2,000 books our little flat XD

Louise said...

I can't remember the last time I owned flip-flops...

So true about 15, although I got the same reaction when I went into college wearing a scarf.

I can relate to 19 far more than is healthy. It's not generally a good idea to drink Red Rooster like water several days a week, is it?

katysioux said...

#12: From my experience, children LOVE Goths. I get smiles and compliments (yes, little kids compliment my outfits!) all the time when I'm out and about.

TropigothMama said...

> flip-flops - they are SLIPPERS #hawaiian.

Anyway. I own three pairs of them, whatever you call them, because as aforementioned, HAWAII. But I mostly wear my black patent Birkenstocks so there's that.
We have an extensive library (including all the Ann Rice novels much to my mom's chagrin) and make weekly trips to the lending library as well.
And we as a family (me: black top, long floaty black skirt, dyed red hair. husband: black jeans, black striped shirt. baby: black onesie and black striped leggings) were just handed an "invitation" to visit a church a few days ago as we walked down the street XD

Anonymous said...

I can relate to 18 of them :)

Edna-X! said...

Almost all of these apply to me. Really. <----(note the lack of sarcasm)

Traicetrak said...

14 out of 20 at the time I started looking into Gothic style & subculture, with some that didn't apply then having applied before. LOL

Something funny (to me, at least)...when I decided to research what Goth was, I found myself going back and forth about whether I related to it (or WANTED to relate to it), because there's a whole lot of mixed messages out there. Since deciding to relax and just go with it, though, I keep finding new things about myself that were clearly ALWAYS gothy about me. All that to say, I definitely believe in the closet-Goth.

Nightwind said...

About twelve of these apply to me; but then again, I'm not in the closet.

Bridget said...

I can relate to 13 of these. I don't want to know what my bedroom would look like if I didn't keep nearly all of my books on my e-reader.

I've found that children are fascinated by my clothes, it's their parents that glare at me.

Amy Asphodel said...

Kitty & TropiGothMama - these are slippers: http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?um=1&hl=en&biw=1366&bih=638&tbm=isch&tbnid=W2zBtij_xi91CM:&imgrefurl=http://www.zhu-zhu.co.uk/gifts/animal-slippers/nici-hedgehog-slippers.html&docid=RE6XrZH2QrwBqM&imgurl=http://www3.zhu-zhu.co.uk/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/h/e/hedgehog-slipper.png&w=500&h=500&ei=2AaWT4KCKoLt8QO82KySCg&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=307&sig=100846324085557501481&page=1&tbnh=128&tbnw=118&start=0&ndsp=23&ved=1t:429,r:11,s:0,i:154&tx=50&ty=49

These are thongs (NSFW): http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?um=1&hl=en&sa=N&biw=1366&bih=638&tbm=isch&tbnid=MZAArM0zO-vG5M:&imgrefurl=http://thefashpack.onsugar.com/tag/exposed-thong&docid=NlW7XX_9tRVG4M&imgurl=http://media.onsugar.com/files/ons1/286/2862078/30_2009/0313c5e177aa1249_whaletail1.jpg&w=488&h=425&ei=aQaWT-nCE8r_8QPE5dH0CQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=565&vpy=140&dur=1237&hovh=209&hovw=241&tx=146&ty=139&sig=100846324085557501481&page=1&tbnh=135&tbnw=153&start=0&ndsp=23&ved=1t:429,r:3,s:0,i:73

England is a fun country. ;-)

Kitty Lovett; The Unadulterated Cat said...

No, THAT is a g-string.

I love that you put a NSFW warning on a comment directed at us. lol as if we have jobs

Joanna said...

I got 15 of them but I'm happy to say I'm out of the goth closet! It happened in January. I was attending a friend's birthday party and went to get some refreshments where I met 2 other women one of whom, like me, was dressed in black. One of them commented on the coffin pendant(with a skeleton inside)I was wearing. Sheepishly, I said that I was "kind of gothy". The woman in black told me there was no such word as gothy. I said I had goth sensibilities. "No" she replied "you're goth." And I have been ever since.

RoseOfTransylvania said...

I love aesthetic of old Gothic movies - rich colors, sets, costumes, bats etc. Modern style lacks beauty and elegance! I like pastel - elegant shades of rose and peach, not plasticky pink and orange - and I dislike PVC and leather. Etsy, however, has some divine stuff

Jessie Aaker said...

All of my old high school classmates must have had that list memorized for pinpointing me as a goth long before I dyed my hair or started dressing like one. Haha!

Now do you have a "How to tell you're a closet vampire fan?"

Durtal said...

Well I got 16 of them and I'm not goth at all. (I'm a black metaller...)

MoonfacedAsh said...

Haha so true about me. Except for 6,9,11,12,18and 19

Anonymous said...

Oh my...this is basically me. Except for the hearse part. Any type of motor vehicle is fine with me as long as I can customize it.

Anonymous said...

I relate to all the points but I feel uncomfortable wearing goth clothing... I like it so much though!

LittleLeota said...

I really like this blog post, and although the list was done tongue in cheek, 14 of these really do apply to me! I even break out in a red rash if I'm in the sun too long. Also, since I grew up in California I do wear flip flops occasionally, but the climate where I live now is, thankfully, much cooler so I don't wear them as often.

iman sol said...

I was asked 'why do you wear black a lot?'...

Jane Killingsworth said...

Yu only get to keep points if they are Demonias :3 just foolin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...