Responses to emails! The sharp-eyed among you may have noticed that I've taken down my email address from the sidebar - this is because I was getting deluged with so many emails that it was taking me literally months to reply to them. >.< So, huge apologies to those of you who sent me emails back in February and are still awaiting replies.
Today I thought I would begin taking a few of the queries sent to me and pop them up here (anonymously, of course!) so that other readers can share their thoughts and advice. After all, I am not an oracle, and there is usually somebody lurking around on this blog who has better advice than me. ;-)
I received an email entitled 'Brotherly Woes' back in February, in which a young lady asked, "I have a serious problem. I just happen to live with a passive anti-goth kid. As in he hates me being goth but is too lazy to do anything serious about it... yet. Due to the fact that my Dad snores and my mum's driven into another room leaves me sleeping in a bunk bed with my little brother. I'm so desperate to turn that room into a goths dream bedroom but I have no idea how to go about it as I have no idea what he might do, or what mum might too. :("
I don't have any brothers or sisters so I can't entirely relate to this dilemma, but I do know that many siblings are known to roll their eyes and make mocking comments about a brother or sister's interest in Goth. However, I wonder what sort of 'serious' action Little Bro could possibly take? A slightly younger friend of mine once had her Gothy skirts cut to ribbons by a sibling, and responded in kind by taking the scissors to her sister's pyjamas, so I DO understand the concern. But short of paying to get you lobotomised, I'm not sure that a sibling can actually stop one from being Goth.
|Source: Let the Angels Commit|
Hopefully if your parents understand your desire to have a little bit of spookiness in your surroundings they will give you permission to do what you can to your own area as long as you don't encroach on your brother's own space. (Also, having discussions with the parental units provides protection from siblings liable to 'accidentally' damage your Gothier pieces of decor in a fit of pique.)
Speaking to your parents might also help give you peace of mind about your brother's 'anti-Goth' tendencies. Depending on your brother's age, could it be worth having a conversation with him also about what it is he has a problem with about you being Goth? Is it really Goth he has a problem with, or does he just like having something to needle you about - in which case, feel free to ignore him. If, however, he has genuine concern or distaste regarding your appreciation for Goth, it might help to talk it through with him.
But, if he is the kind of little brother who likes to be aggravating, he may try to provoke you and cause an argument - don't let any provocative or unpleasant comments regarding Goth get to you. Just change the subject or walk away. Don't be drawn into any arguments with your brother on the subject as this will help keep your parents on-side - you don't want them to end up disapproving of your Goth-ness as well. Keep your cool and refuse to rise to the bait. With time, it's likely he'll get bored of trying to irritate you on that particular subject or simply come to accept it.
Best of luck!