Wednesday, 18 July 2012

The people who smile at Goths...

(Hint: the title is supposed to be a play on The Men Who Stare at Goats, but it's not really working, is it?)

I have often wondered what it would be like to be friends with someone who dressed in alternative fashion if you, personally, had no interest in that style. Of course it would be rather like being friends with anyone else (duh) but, well, hands up, everyone who's ever been told by one or more people that, "I always look forward to seeing what you're wearing, it's so different!"

I have noticed that my male and female friends have different attitudes towards my style. My girlfriends will happily coo over new shoes, even though they'd personally MUCH rather wear ballet flats than purple platform boots with painted cobwebs, and if I show up in jeans they look concerned and ask if I'm OK. They also like to select my outfits: "Can you wear your bloomers when we go out next week?"

My male friends are more likely to make 'Gawth jokes' or gently tease me (if I wear my skeleton belt from Restyle, my friend Kyle always asks, "Are you hungry? I can see your ribs..."), but on the whole, to be frank, they aren't really fussed. As Chris put it at the pub one night: "Amy's just Amy. She wears different stuff."

(ALL my friends, though, want to try on my hats.)

I don't have many Goth friends that live locally (one), so often my non-Goth friends are dragged along to gigs or clubs with me. It's always interesting to see how they react. One friend of mine usually goes to big-stadium rock gigs and felt really out of her comfort zone at a small club watching Industrial bands. Another loves coming to events with me and will always get up on the dance floor (behaviour I highly approve of) but insists on telling everyone she meets there that she isn't a Goth.

I think one of the potentially-funniest things is how some of my friends now react to other black-clad types when they're out and about. Most of them will practically start taking notes of the poor innocent darkling's hair, make-up and outfit to pass on to me later. Some will make the effort to go up with a smile or compliment, or just say hi, which I think is sweet. Jodie, however, recently told me that when she saw a clot of Goths walking past, she pasted the BIGGEST, CHEESIEST grin possible on her face and marched past smiling a very toothy smile at them (yup, she smiled a smile *gasp*).

Her companion said (slightly worried), "Do you know those people?"

Jo: "Oh, no."

Friend: "Then why are you smiling at them like that?"

It's nice to go out with Goth friends, but I do enjoy being the 'token macabre person' in a group (as somebody expressed on Goth Confessions).
Have you guys had any amusing experiences with your nearest and dearest?


Xanthy said...

Yup. I love being the token goth in my class too :D

Shannon Rutherford said...

My experience with non-goths friends is very similar to yours :) my girlfriends squee at new clothes or platform shoes almost as much as I do XD some of my male friends may make jokes about it, but that's basically it. I'm talking about straight ones, for gay male friends see girlfriends behaviour XD
A few times I managed to take them to some goth or metal clubs with me, so I could dress them up and do their make up :D that's fun, but it doesn't happen very often; they're just not into it, I don't want to force them.
The only experience I could (hardly) define as "amusing" is one girl trying to emulate my style and personality... but that was quite sad actually D:
This is an interesting topic, anyway :)

AsylumAlice said...

My friends always say I'm cute. It's sort of funny...Lolita inspired lace and little stuffed animals: aw! She's so cute today! Deathrocker torn clothes and patches with huge stompy boots: aw! Isn't she cute? :D

akumaxkami said...

I don't have any Goth friends IRL at all, but the few female friends I do have always want me to give them "Goth" makeovers.

And I'm no good at doing other people's makeup so I usually politely decline.

Anonymous said...

My experience with my non-alternative friends that they joke about my style and culture with the "I'm so goth" meme. And other humorous things like saying This Corrosion by The Sisters of Mercy as a funeral party song. I'm also the token goth when I was at college since 2010 in my final fourth year (However I started in 2007) and voluntary work at a cafe, even my autism spectrum club (both present)

Anonymous said...

Goths having friends? I guess I live in a different world ...

Fae said...

My friends are forever going on about how cute my handmade lace necklaces are. And my best girlfriend is always skipping around with me to music festivals.

My best guy friends are a handfull. I remember one day I showed up to school, puffy black skirt with white poka-dots and a simple black shirt and leather vest. And he just laughed and said "we have ourselves a super model....oh wait..You can`t show up on camera." He loves making little jokes like that.

And sometimes my girlfriends and my guy firends dress up in leather and lace and we just walk around the beach. I love them. x3 <3

The Cemetery Dreamer said...

Even though none are goth lot of my friends have some kind of alternative style, so I don't look at that out of place next to them.

At school though I was the token morbid person, my 3 best friends were very sweet, conservative Christians. I'm still really close to them . One likes vintage things as much as I do; we just run to opposite ends of the colour spectrum =P I think the stuff she wears is great but would look terrible on me and vice versa. One is adorable and girly in pink with a great figure (I envy some of the styles she can wear so much!)and the 3rd rebelled and even has some of my old clothes in her wardrobe =P

My ex used to get uncomfortable being seen in public with me when I was wearing certain things though; I guess a guy that refuses to dress-up EVER finds it odd getting stares because he's with the girl in the top hat =P

Louise said...

I get a lot of "I love your boots!" type comments. Usually followed up by "can you bounce really high in them?", though, as the platforms have exposed springs.

Also, when I first bought my top hat, everybody wanted a turn wearing it.

On, and out of curiosity, are you going to the Southampton Cruxshadows gig on Tuesday?

Tempest Dei said...

I'm the odd dresser at my college, when I use to show myself. But yea... most guys tend to think I dress weird, and it's made me feel kinda bad on occasion. The girls are a bit more complementing though, oddly enough.

Also, I got your reference to The Men Who Stare at Goats, it was the first thing I thought of when I read the title, made me smile:D

Amy Asphodel said...

@ Louise - this is kind of a late and irrelevant reply, but hey there XD glad I met you at the CXS gig! (Spring boots and all...)

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